¡exposedbelliescocainebirthcontrol!

Maybe it was the chuck taylors, 'cause it's interesting to note that the timeless converse all-stars have incorporated themselves into every scene & subculture except that of hippie/neo-hyppie. You can find them everywhere: at the underground hip-hop show; in the foodcourt of the mall tightly hugging the feet of the goth mallrats; at the table-top gameshop, supporting the arches of of gamers & geeks; at the pun-krockers', the haircuts' & the shoegazers' dives. At the pornstore. At the football game. Everywhere but on the feet of hippies. So my inability to click with the party I went to on saturday night, I'm blaming this on the chuck taylors.

It was a seventies theme party. Which is cool, I'm all for cocaine & exposed bellies & for doing cocaine off of exposed bellies & orgies & cocaine but this wasn't that type of seventies party. Or maybe those type of seventies parties stayed in the seventies much like vegas or maybe one can only find seventies themed parties which involve cocaine & exposed bellies in vegas, but regardless this party had the disco ball & the disco music & the disco clothes but no disco drugs or disco sex. Which was quickly forgiven because they did have free disco whiskey & free disco tequila.

My girlfriend's downstairs neighbours invited us. They're hippies but they aren't your typical eugene hippies, they remind me much more of the crust/anarchist/hardcore folk of my past. Their names are made up which is fairly textbook (of both hippies & crusties but the big difference is discovered in choice of name, i.e. my girlfriend's hippie neighbour decided on Apple for his nomenclature while I once knew a crust who went by Vomit), & they have a little girl, named Amelia, though they probably spell it all original-hippie-like with a 'Y' & a 'J' in there somewhere. They eat meat. They drink more booze than they smoke marijuana. I & my girlfriend both enjoy them, so when they invited us to a seventies theme party just down the street we felt obliged to go. Which is fairly fantastic for both her & I seeing as how we've recently become somewhat hermit like.

So we go.

She's all kinds of fine in a blue dress circa early 1980's & cowboy boots. Now remember here that I don't really acknowledge anything about the 70's expect for powerpop & The Knack's crush of disco in 1979, so I come dressed in blue jeans, white t & converse all-stars. When we arrive Apple & Calypso, the not-so-hippy neighbours, are out front smoking a cigarette so first we stand there & chat it up a while. Through a window it is apparent that the living room has been converted to a dance floor & Kool & the Gang is audible outside. Now I'm no doubt snapping my fingers along with Donna Summer's Hot Stuff as I open the door but then I'm sort of struck dumb by the first sight I see. It isn't people doing cocaine off of each other's exposed bellies, it isn't even lascivious dancing, well it sorta is, but in a much different, much dirtier way than anything Studio 54 had to offer. There is a seven year old boy, in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by hippies wearing flowing dresses & fake furs, & he's thrusting his pelvis at me, in perfect time, exaggerating thrusts on both "Hot" & "Stuff" then cooling it down some for "baby this evening". Later I find out his name is Leaf (& I do not make this shit up, his mother's name is Tree) & for the whole, I don't really remember, four, five hours we're at this party, so is he. Thirty or so people are here, all hippies, getting extremely drunk & then there's this seven year kid, running around begging for attention, commanding the middle of the dance floor on every song, & everybody is getting sloppy drunk & I'm wondering, why is this kid not in bed for christ's sake.

Another epiphany I had that night other than the hippies/converse one is that quite often where you find hippies you'll also find children. I'm unsure of the constituents behind this. I could mention another culture, namely college, where sex is equally as rampant but you won't find near as many parents there. What gives? Does free love not go so far as to include free birth control? Nearly everyone at this party had kids, two of them being present. I think that if I had a The Wesley Show Spinoff the last thing I'd want to introduce it to at the age of seven would be sexually explicit dancing & mass consumption of alcohol, but I don't & The Wesley Show is still doing mighty fine in it's 24th season & so I just decided to get drunk & not worry about it.

& yes, I got drunk. Not as drunk as my girlfriend, I still remember the whole night, & something that I lucidly remember is that towards the end of the night, after around five hours of drinking, the host of the party & father of one, Cy, decided it was time to pull out the gasoline & impress those still in attendance by juggling fire, which worried me somewhat & that in turn distressed me because I had so very clearly decided just a while earlier to get drunk & not worry & then Cy put the flames aside & instead pulled out three very large knifes & started juggling them, while drunk, with seven year old Leaf standing nearby & watching, enthralled, which worried me to no end & shortly thereafter I & my dazzling girlfriend stumbled home.

...where I did cocaine off of her belly (in my dreams).