Dear DHL

It was just last week that I received a package from you, an LP sent with care from the east coast, & you had very distinctly stepped upon it, breaking the record in half & ruining my day. Now just earlier on my lunch break your incompetency of driving in parking lots mixed with your complete disregard of the ol' Look Both Ways rule nearly took someone's life, which would have ruined their day. & probably mine, as I was watching. Please, teach your dumbass drivers how to drive those large trucks you supply them with & tell them to stop stepping on people's packages, we don't like it.

Love,
Wesley