The blog that didn't exist.

Two simple guidelines I've attempted to respect whilst blogging:

• 1. Don't blog about what I do at work.
• 2. Don't blog about other people's dirty laundry/crappy lives/insipid decisions.

Pretty easy, most of the time. Work takes up enough of my day as it is & I'm a slow typer, & other people's dirty crappy insipidness is not mine to pander out to the faceless masses. This blog is not a stage upon which I'm allowed to ridicule, call bullshit on or rat out anyone I know.

Counterpoint A: i am a bastard.

Not my own personal favourite but a part of my characteristic build-up nonetheless. I say rude, inappropriate things. I think even more rude & inappropriate things. I don't honestly bask in other's misfortunes or fuck ups but I will be the first to say they had it coming.

Counterpoint B: Wake up douches!

Really if I were to call jackmorons on their bullshit it wouldn't be like I was a whistleblower, I mean come on, if you know person A you know he's a dick & so it shouldn't come as any surprise that on such & such night in question he did this extremely dickish thing, putting a finer & more lucid focus on his dickishness & if you don't know A then what should he even care, especially considering that if you did meet A you'd immediately recognize him as a dick. So why would A have a problem with waking up one morning & crawling out of bed only to find himself stepping into the big, stinky, still steaming pile of turds that is his own shit that is Cleopatra's Nose is beyond me. But probably he would & he'd probably hate me & plan hurtful things to exact upon me which would suck 'cause all I did was say "dude, this is your shit & it stinks". It's not like I tried to steal his girlfriend or key his car or drink all his whiskey or continued to feed his cat after he'd specifically asked me not to & it finally started crashing at my pad. Because frankly, I've already had your girlfriend, your Peugeot's a piece, your whiskey's trash & I don't need another cat. I was just trying to say you're an asshole.

asshole.