A Fictitous Fonecall

rinnng, rinnng, rinnng

Me: "Hello?"
Spike Jonze: "Hello, Wesley? Yeah, this is Spike."
Me: "Spike, what's up man? I haven't heard from in a while."
Jonze: "Ahh, not much. I just, y'know, haven't spoken with you in a while & thought, ahh, I was just wondering what you've been up to ."
Me: "Right, right. I know you better than that, you don't just call up to shoot the shit. What's up?"
Jonze: "Nothing, nothing. Like I said, just curious..."
Me: "Come on... Spikey... Spikey pikey ikey ike..."
Jonze: "Alright, alright, just shut up with the baby talk. So, I might've had a few glasses of wine & then Kirsten calls me to just chat, &, y'know, brings up how cool it is working with Sofia & stuff & I sorta lose it, man, y'know, just feeling sorry for myself & whatever. & then I start thinking about Tarantino & his new film & how it's getting good reviews & although I'm still excited about what Charlie & I have been doing I'm fearful of how long we can ride this wave & I don't know... Christ, I'm just down man. That's all."
Me: "Poop, I've been there man."
Jonze: "Yeah, I know you have brother. So tell me something good."
Me: "Well, ok, let's see. Just yesterday that band I play with..."
Jonze: "enjoy your fall..."
Me: "Yeah, well we played a show up in Portland, at the twilight café."
Jonze: "Woo, I thought y'all hated, no hate's a strong word, were displeased with that venue the last time you rocked it."
Me: "Yeah, we were, but we decided to give it another shot & I think we were all pleased with the way it turned out. It helped, I think, that we, or at least Aliza & I, went in with low expectations, but unlike last time we were able to get a sound check & we put the violin through the PA so it was audible, O & we also followed a pretty shitty act.
Jonze: "That's nice. I always like it when the trailers before my film suck."
Me: "Yeah, so that was nice. & the band after us, Miraflores, was great. Fantastic. So all in all, we had a good show & a fun time. My parents were in town & they showed up, that was cool. Again, the ol' 'drive up to portland, hang out at a bar, drive home & hit the sheets by 4 am' justs jacks you in the face & groin something fierce but it was worth it."
Jonze: "Good, great, grood. I'm happy for you man. How's the roomie? How's the girl? How's the job?"
Me: "Uhmm, Brian's well, I think he might've snagged himself a girl. Aliza's the best, couldn't be better. The job's a job: pays the bills, sort of. How's everything been for you, Spike?"
Jonze: "Eh. Another day... This thing with Eggers & Goldenberg is fun. A bit weird."
Me: "I'm cautiously excited about it, remember you're retooling what is considered a classic by most of this & the last generation. How is that, working with Eggers anyway?"
Jonze: "Man, I think a bit of him mighta rubbed off on me & that's why I've been depressed lately. The fella's a casebook example of a shitty life. You've read that book of his, right? 'A staggering work' or whatever it's called?"
Me: "Yeah, yeah. I read it. O, & what's with this new one of his? What does he think he's doing? He ain't no Sedaris meets Barth meets Hemingway. God."
Jonze: "Yeah, there's a reason Charlie & I do what we do on the big screen & not in textual based media."
Me: "I guess. Well, it's really nice of you to call Spike, but I best be going."
Jonze: "Alright. Give me a call whenever, Wesley. I'll talk with ya later."
Me: "Bye, Spike."