New Development Confirmed; Dukes is Deployed to Employment

It’s bachelor’s night here at 47 Monroe Street. I’m eating refried beans with Ruffles Reduced Fat chips & Brian is eating microwaved spaghetti sauce with tortilla chips. I’m also drinking Pepe Lopez out of an aluminum coffee mug, dark blue with white speckles, y’know, the type you associate with camping, or perhaps with homeless blind people. My girlfriend is on the rag & in her most recent blog has compared me to Ray Romano. Now, Aliza, I’m not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand Ray Romano plays a
“crypto-Jew” on that sitcom of his & I understand how that correlates with my telling strangers that I’m Jewish, & I guess I am a bit hamish to some degree, but his humour is also family-friendly & sister, I ain’t family-friendly. Oh no. I use four letter words. I don’t shower. I drink cheap tequila & eat refried beans right out of the pan they were cooked in. I, I... well piss, alright so maybe that’s it, maybe I’m not quite the badass I’d like to be, but most importantly I make you smile, dear girl. & that I love.
New things.... well I got a job. That’s the Shiite (Allah forgive me). The idea of work is exciting, swell that is, but it’ll be weird. Sure, sure, there’s the suck factor involved in not working for four-plus months & then getting a jobarony but mostly there’s the fact that this new job is in the same building, with the same crew, doing the same job as I did a year ago, the only difference is that it isn’t corporate grocery this time round but a local natural foods store. It’s like having a dog, all black save a few white spots on her left, front paw, that you call Traci & Traci is an awesome dog, maybe just the best dog there ever was, & you take Traci every where you go & play frisbee with her in the park, but then Traci dies & you’re all sad & whatever & so you decide to get another pet but at the pet store you see this cat who’s all black save a white patch on its left, front paw & purchase this cat & decide to call it Traci as well but you know its not Traci nor will this cat ever fill the hole in your heart left by Traci’s departure but still you miss that damn dog so much & all your friends think this is a bit weird & even you know it is weird but still you do it, call this cat Traci & take it to the park & whatnot, weird or no, because it makes you happy.