Three's company?

Subject A: Brian
Subject B: Mary
Subject C: Bernie
Subject D: Myself
Subject E {not present}: Aliza
Subject F {rotating spasmodically between Sub. A, Sub. B & the outer rooms (not charted) }: Dolly, the cat

Three quarters of the team is spread out across the length of the living room at 47 Monroe. Sub. A is on the couch, his usual position for an occasion of sitting around & putting back a few. Sub. B is bouncing between a chair & Sub C {Ah... Sub. C is our electric radiator. It was decided a few nights back that due to Sub B’s inclination to locate herself as close to the heater as possible, even at times going so far as to sit upon it, that it has grow to be as dear a member of the team as each of us are & thus it needed a name. Sub B: “well it burns me sometimes so... how about Bernie?” & so it was.} with the same frequency that she is switching between beer & H2O. Sub E is, sadly, at home, probably resting fitfully, dreaming of penguins or female pop stars or co-workers having sex. Whatever she’s doing she is certainly smiling. I’m here at the far end of the living room from Sub. A, silently observing, acting as research scientist, waiting & itching for that moment when the consumption level has finally reached that point where the interesting & exciting interactions that 47 Monroe St. can provide are in full form, whence I will begin documenting {via this blog, in real time} all that I see & hear, mostly for all of whose who haven’t the opportunity to witness these relations but also for the sake of prosperity. Oh, & science, yeah, can’t forget science. Imagine a sort of twisted mix of reality television & the Discovery channel, & so here we go:
      Sub. A & Sub. B are quiet & seemingly subdued. From my experience observing these animals their tranquil composure is typically a ruse, a trap lying in wait for an unsuspecting victim to blunder into innocently at which time they will pounce upon their prey, ridiculing, mocking, and ripping it apart {always good naturedly it seems, but still vehemently}; in other instances their composure is a silent regrouping of inner forces, a recharging perhaps.
      Sub. F is circling Sub. B’s left hand & emitting a low hum.
      Currently conversing on the subject of shaving. Sub. A: “the stupidest place I’ve ever shaved is my armpits. Man, I’ll never do that again.” Sub. A then begins weighing the varying levels of stupidity &/or pain involved with shaving different areas of one’s body. Assumingly shaving the legs is at the bottom, the armpits at the top with all other areas falling between these two polarities. Sub. B practiced shaving as a young girl without first consulting a tutor & thus shaved dry, i.e. without any gel, cream or soap, & had many horrible experiences regarding the shower & razor blades. One such experience: “I nicked my elbow really bad & didn’t tell my mom, god what was I doing, practicing how to be an abused girlfriend?”
      Again, quiet.
      Current topic: braces. Sub. A had to wear head gear as a youth during the evenings; Sub. B has never had braces. I attempt to get a good glimpse of both their teeth but am at too far a distance to notice any difference. Sub. A begins mentioning sleep; he has to work in six hours; Sub. B is yawning frequently now; & I might be imaging this but I feel that they both are taking quick, accusatory glances my way. Realizing that my presence is now causing a disturbance in their natural habitat, & that there are some things one cannot justify documenting, even in the name of science, I pack up my research tools & proceed to my private dwelling at the outer reaches of the living room, saying my goodnights to the jungle that is 47 Monroe.